It’s every future bride’s worst nightmare. Your significant other gets down on one knee to propose, but you don't love the ring they present to you. What is meant to be one of the happiest days of your life can quickly become stressful stressful while you search for ways to say it in the nicest possible way.
First things first, don’t panic. It happens to even the biggest of brides. In 2019 it was discovered that Meghan Markle had her ring modified to change the original yellow gold band to one covered in pavé diamonds. There are ways of going about telling the love of your life you don’t like the ring they have given you (hint: it doesn’t involve throwing a fit).
Here is our advice on getting the ring of your dreams.
1. Wear it for a few days
Ever been gifted something that at first you hated, but after a few wears actually come to love? This may be the case with your ring. Lots of emotions can be swirling around your head in the days after they first pop the question. How do we announce it? Facebook or Instagram first? Close up ring shot or cheesy couple pic? And that isn’t even thinking about the wedding planning itself. So give yourself a few days to wear the ring with different outfits and in different settings. You may actually come to love it because your other half chose it with you in mind. If after a few days however, you still aren't loving it. Follow the tips below.
2. Be honest about it
Remember that this is a ring you will be wearing every day for the rest of your life so if looking at it makes you miserable you have to be honest with your other half about it. It’s a tricky conversation to have but marriage is full of tricky conversations so you might as well get the practice in now. More likely than not they’ll be completely understanding and happy to help you change it. They don’t want the person they’re about to spend the rest of their life with to be unhappy after all.
3. Re-design it
One of the hardest ways to bring up the ‘I don’t like the ring conversation’ is when they pull out the priceless family heirloom that has been passed down for generations from grandma, to aunt, to second cousin twice removed. To avoid offending your other half (or the in-laws) think about a re-design like Meghan Markle has. By changing the band or cut you can completely transform a ring to your tastes without losing the sentimental value and keeping everyone happy. It’s a win win situation really.
4. Change it together
Once you’ve gotten past the awkward ‘honey I hate the ring’ conversation, go and pick a new ring together. That way your significant other still feels like they are involved in the engagement ring picking process, but in reality you have the reigns. You get your dream ring, and they get to feel like they’ve picked your dream ring when in reality, it was a team (kind of) effort.
5. Hold off on the announcement
This one may go without saying but hold off on the big gushing Instagram post telling your engagement story and how happy you are to be spending the rest of your life with said person. It can be tempting to get caught up in the love story itself and not think about questions like ‘did you change the ring?’, ‘I’m sure that wasn’t the one you posted’ a few months down the line. Unless the whole being honest about it thing goes completely wrong, you’ll still be engaged in a couple of weeks so wait until you have your dream ring before you tell the masses.
6. Don’t be ungrateful
At the end of the day, you need to take into consideration your partner's financial situation. If you don’t like the ring because you don’t think it’s big or flashy enough the problem you might be able to find a different kind of stone that gives you a bigger size, or put some money towards it yourself. Marriage is about more than just the ginormous engagement ring though, they proposed because they want to spend the rest of their life with you so don’t get caught up on the little things. Size really doesn’t matter in this situation.
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